Don't call me Ginny I'm a snake
by alien from zorbia
Summary: AU fic.A very disturbing twist to the usual alternate universe. What if Virginia Weasley was sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor? And approved?
1. A shocking and slightly hilarious sortin...

Disclaimer: None of J.K Rowlings characters are mine. That includes Ginny, Draco, The Dream Team etc. and Hogwarts. A/N: This is my second story. Please R+R.  
  
1. My sister ditzcat has been banned from uploading chaps on ff.net. so if any of u read her stories that's why there has been no uploads.  
  
Ginny stood shivering from cold and anticipation in the entrance hall. She was about to be sorted. Finally, she thought. I'm at Hogwarts. Just like my brothers. She looked around at the other first years. Most of them look half out of their wits with fear. She laughed silently to herself. Then was serious. What if I get into Gryffindor? She thought with a slight distaste. That would be slightly horrible. My whole family was, and some still are, in it. Bunch of goody two shoes.  
  
"Ginny Weasley." The curt voice of Professor McGonagall rang out in the Great Hall.  
  
Ginny walked slowly but confidently towards the stool with the Sorting Hat perched atop it. Then just as slowly she put the old, torn hat on her head and sat down. The Hall was buzzing with excitement and doubt. Would she or wouldn't she be a Gryff? The hat spoke slowly into Ginny's ear. "You would be a good Gryffindor or maybe a Ravenclaw? No? There is a shadow of doubt. A mischievous quality that none of your family has had. Although your brothers, Fred and George are quite a pair. Perhaps.? Yes, yes I see now. SLYTHERIN!"  
  
Ginny smiled. Her brothers and fellow Gryffindors shouted out in horror. The Slytherins laughed and cheered. The Hufflepuffs looked flabbergasted. The Ravenclaws looked slightly shocked. Then Ginny laughed. And the Hall fell silent.  
  
"Isn't there more sorting to do Professor?" Ginny asked innocently.  
  
"Ye-yes there is. Colin Creevey." Professor McGonagall stammered slightly and went on as usual.  
  
Ginny walked slowly to the Slytherin table. Musing to herself. This must be history. The first ever Weasley to be a Slytherin. She seated herself next to another first year.  
  
"May I remind all of you that the Forbidden Forest is self explanatory. Hogsmeade is also forbidden, but only to first and second years. For the first years, if you do something that your teachers applaud, you will be given house points. I f you do something that is unsatisfactory or break any of the school rules, house points will be taken from your house. At the end of the year the house with the highest points will win the school cup. Remember your houses are like family, and if you have any problems talk to your house teacher."  
  
The sparkling clean gold goblets and plates filled themselves with hot, delicious dinner. The Hall was a buzz with noise. Only two people seemed to be silent. One, the red head who went against all of nature and was sorted into Slytherin and a white blond sitting at her table not far away. 


	2. In the Snake's lair

2.  
  
"Follow me. This way. Keep up first years." The Prefect's clipped voice rang out through the dungeon corridors.  
  
Ginny followed. Being swept along by the jostling crowd. They came to a stop in front of a painting of a Knight.  
  
"The password is Slytheris Draconis." The Prefect's voice bounced off the walls.  
  
The painting swung open and the raging hordes swarmed into the Slytherin common room. A fire was burning in a gigantean fireplace. There was chairs covered in plush green velvet scattered around the room and various tables dotted the room's surface.  
  
"All upcoming events and other important information will be posted on this bulletin board. The girl's dormitories are up those stairs on the left and the boy's are up the right hand stairs. Lights out at ten thirty."  
  
Ginny followed the girls up the stairs and the first years into their room. Ginny took the remaining bed. Her trunk was already there.  
  
"So. A weasel has found its way into the lair of the snake." One of the girls in the dormitory sniped.  
  
Ginny looked at the girl who had spoken with disdain and utter contempt. Blond plaits with pink bows. Scrawny. "What was that? Oh you mean your going to be swallowed up at any second, I thought so. Riiight. I'll remember that your name is Weasel in the future." Ginny replied curtly with a nod, "Closet Hufflepuff" She added under her breath.  
  
The girl looked absolutely livid. The rest of the girls looked a bit shocked to hear this coming from the precious Ginny Weasley. Ginny smiled. My job here is done. She thought to herself with a smile. Then she tried to look innocent without success. She burst out laughing at the shocked the faces. This seemed to shock other girls more. She unpacked her things all the while shaking with mirth. One of the girls seemed to pluck up the courage to go over and speak to her.  
  
"Hi. My name is Accalia. Known to most as Cal. And you are the now famous Ginny Weasley."  
  
"Nice to be famous. But, sadly not rich. And to my mother's disappointment, I am not maidenly like my name. But, please don't call me Ginny. It's my family pet name and I hate it. But not when it's from dad."  
  
"Oh well. My parents always said I did exactly what my name means. I make things happen. Instigator of things. My parents are muggles and I made 'things' happen, most of them were bad, but that's not the point. Fires start by themselves too, you know."  
  
"Nice to know that. Handy too."  
  
"So what would you like to be called? Virginia's a bit of a mouthful. No offence."  
  
"None taken. I quite like Ginger, but other than that anything that you can come up with that is not rude or offensive."  
  
"How 'bout.Verge?"  
  
"I like it."  
  
"Fine then. I dub thee Verge."  
  
"If you get to name me then I'm changing yours. I dub thee Lia."  
  
"I like it."  
  
Then they both erupted in giggles. Both glad to have made a friend. A Prefect popped her head around the door,  
  
"Lights out girls. NOW!" Her voice thundered through the room.  
  
Grumbling they all hopped into their beds. Various goodnights mumbled from underneath covers reverberated across the room. 


	3. It's a howler! He he he he he!

3.  
  
Okay. Remember their names. Chandra, the pretty dark girl with light blond hair; Gwenllian, the evil fair one with plaits; Larine, the one whose hair looks permanently wet; Druella, the one who is really tall and seems to see every thing and of course Lia. Verge was trying to remember the girls in her room whilst walking to breakfast with Lia.  
  
"Hey, so there's Chandra, Gwenllian, Larine and Druella? Right?"  
  
"Spot on Verge. Now hurry up. We don't want to be late for breakky."  
  
"I'm probably gonna get a howler." "Yeah more than likely. I reckon she won't be the only one who flips."  
  
"Nah. My dad will probably be sent to St. Mungos."  
  
With that they giggled all the way to the Hall where they were greeted with the sight of thousands of owls flying through the windows. And sure enough, one landed in front of where Ginny had just slipped into.  
  
"Poor Errol. He has nearly carked it flying here. Hmmm now whatever could this be?" Ginny said sarcastically.  
  
"VIRGINIA MILDRED WEASLEY. WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU PULLED BEING SORTED INTO SLYTHERIN? YOUR FATHER NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK! YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. IT IS EVEN IN THE DAILY PROPHET. YOUR FATHER IS THE LAUGHING STOCK AT THE MINISTRY. BILL AND CHARLIE, WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL THEM? THAT THEIR BABY SISTER IS A SLYTHERIN? I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO BREAK IT TO THEM. IT WILL BREAK THEIR POOR HEARTS. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.IF ONE MORE STUNT LIKE THIS HAPPENS.SO HELP ME GOD!"  
  
All the while Verge was laughing hysterically. While everyone in the Hall was just staring openly at her.  
  
"Well that was pleasant. And that food is for eating you know. It's going cold."  
  
With that everyone became very interested in their food. Dumbledore had a twinkle in his eye and was smiling. The other teachers were looking a bit shocked and McGonagall looked like she was about to faint. Which was a very weird and different expression for her. And Snape just sneered like usual, but with a slight smile flickering at the edges of his otherwise perfect sneer.  
  
"Alright Verge. Monday. We've got.potions first, a double, then.charms and transfiguration, and then lunch aaand double herbology then free time until dinner. Sound good to you?"  
  
"Sure. Well we better get hopping or we will be for the rest of our lives coz Snape'll turn us into frogs."  
  
"Good point. Lets go." 


	4. Scary Scary Snape in potions How boring

4.  
  
They made their way quickly down to the dungeons and lined up outside just as Snape entered the corridor. There were sighs of relief all round. Verge and Lia took a moment to see whom they had potions with. The delightful Gryffindors who looked positively miserable. Snape gave them all a lengthy sneer and told them to take their seats IMMEDIATELY! Verge made her way to the front of the classroom towing Lia behind her.  
  
"What are you doing? Are you crazy? Towards Snape? I thought we would be going AWAY from him." Lia whispered furiously to Verge.  
  
"Oh come on. If tis not us its some other poor soul*cough cough*" Verge said tartly to her friend.  
  
"Now children in this subject there is not a lot of wand waving. But a serious amount of careful measuring and precise calculations. If you get one single thing wrong in your potion any number of disastrous things could and most probably will ensue. I doubt greatly any of you will know anything about the delicate study of potions. That is why I am here. To teach you how to make a potion to change your shape, a concoction to bring great fortune, syrups that will make the drinker able to levitate with just the force of will power."  
  
Snape said all of this without his sneer wavering or the look of disdain moving from his eyes. Then he made the mistake of looking at young Virginia Weasley. Who, in some other persons case would be a mistake, yawned. Then looked at him and smiled the smile of an innocent babe who has been caught eating all the cauldron cakes from the pantry. I bet no one's ever yawned at his welcoming speech before. Not even Malfoy. But he doesn't look insufferably annoyed. He looks slightly amused. I think he's flipped.  
  
"Am I boring you Miss Weasley?"  
  
"Not at all Professor. But you do waffle on a bit. Potions are great and all but do you really need all this pomp and fuss?" Verge said as innocently as a lamb.  
  
Snape chuckled. Which stunned the whole class into absolute silence.  
  
"Ten points to Slytherin, for Miss Weasley's initiative for speaking her mind." Snape said whilst the class gaped and Verge looked slightly satisfied.  
  
"And probably the truth." Snape mumbled under his breath.  
  
"Books out and take notes on how to make a Potion of Warding. I trust that by next lesson you will know it by heart, because you will be making it without directions." Snape told the slightly terrified class.  
  
The rest of that lesson was spent trying to memorise the Potion of Warding and taking notes.  
  
Potions  
  
A clove of Bella Donna picked on a blue moon  
  
A pint of skunk musk taken from an albino skunk  
  
"Yuck skunk musk." Verge whispered to Lia  
  
"I know. It's gross." Lia whispered back "Girls NO TALKING!" Snape roared.  
  
20 oz. Ground wormwood, ground on Walpurgisnacht 12 mandrake roots taken on Halloween The tongue from a Latin speaking cow  
  
"What kinda cow speaks Latin?" Verge asked her friend.  
  
"An evil cow?" They looked at each other and shrugged.  
  
"I hear whispering." Snape called  
  
2 leaves of the hemlock plant taken on a Sabbat A spoonful of bats blood A kilo of babies fat  
  
Both girls looked at each other.  
  
"Eeeeeeewwwww!" They said in unison.  
  
"Something wrong with the ingredients girls?" Snape snapped at them  
  
"No sir." Lia stammered  
  
"Well they are a bit disgusting. Some of them anyway." Verge replied calmly.  
  
Snape rolled his eyes and gave them a look that said GIRLS! And threw his hands up in frustration, but could do no more because the lesson was over. 


End file.
